I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
