His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize