The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I lost the right to judge tonight
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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