"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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