you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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