He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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