oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
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also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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