I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Randomize
