Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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