I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
