we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
