I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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