She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
