exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
