we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
