Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Of course I have a pirate flag
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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