the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
