If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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