she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
