3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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