It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize