I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
