i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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