I think im going to throw up on grandma
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
