would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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