I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
