i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
