My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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