I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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