woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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