batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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