Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
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