I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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