i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize