They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
