I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
