you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
