Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
