Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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