The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.