Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
