Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'