Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.