we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I got inside last night via doggy door