The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I understand Curling. That high.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.