Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
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haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
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i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You're a waste of cheezeits
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again