I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award