do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
