Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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