I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
