I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i think my mom watched the whole time
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
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For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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