in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize