I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
