Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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