Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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