Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
