you turned your livingroom into a bong?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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