Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
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I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize