We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
