about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
