when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
We talked him into tasing himself.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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