It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
