She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize