dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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