I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
