Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
