So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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