I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
